And then I started thinking...

I wrote last time about needing to leave my job. I was ready to walk into my boss's office and give the word. So ready. But then Ding Dong! this annoying little thing called Responsibility rang the door bell.

  • The CEO created my position especially for me.
  • I told my boss I was committed (should be committed??)
  • No one else (with my qualifications) would work for so little pay.
  • No other boss would be so incredibly flexible with my hours.
  • I get discounted child care.
  • I can teach my journal workshops through them.
  • I can network within the human services/non-profit world for my own purposes through them.
  • I am learning a valuable skill.
  • I get to gossip with all the "girls" over coffee and free donuts.
  • I have a reason to put on make up and wear something other than jeans.
  • It gets me out of the house and away from Facebook.
  • I can justify buying another pair of shoes because I earned it.
  • With two days off and most of the summer free, I have NO excuse not to keep my house clean, write or market the journal workshops.
Responsibility? Egoism? No-brainer? Dream-sabotage?

They don't NEED me, I'm not irreplaceable. But she gave me a chance when I needed a job - is it now fair to run out just because I don't need them? Am I wasting precious energy that could be spent pursuing my personal goals? I like being needed. Do I also "like" having an excuse for not succeeding in other areas of my life???

Damn. I need to give this some more thought.

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